Here comes the tough part of this NFL Life- being waived. If this was the old me, I wouldn’t be sharing this setback at all. If this was me 4 weeks ago, I wouldn’t be sharing this setback until Kamalu found another team to play for. Who I am today is someone who is just sharing the moment we are in, and the reality of it is, it isn’t a great feeling. Even though I may not know what will happen next, this is currently our reality.
Kamalu got waived today.
Such a short sentence, but there is SO much packed in it. Being waived doesn’t just mean he isn’t playing for the Texans this season, it also means saying bye to a community we’ve come to know and love. It also means hugging our close friends we’ve made here, while saying through teary eyes “see you later” even though you’re not entirely sure when or where later may be. It means not being sure about our next steps career, location, or finance wise. It also means dealing with the feelings Kamalu may be feeling at this time- it’s not easy knowing that all the hard work you did didn’t yield the results you wanted.
It’s never easy dealing with a setback when it comes to the pursuit of your most cherished dreams. It’s tough. It hurts. It can feel confusing. You feel lost for a moment. I know that any sad feeling I have doesn’t compare to what Kamalu may be feeling; it was his job, his livelihood on the line. Though, one thing that amazes me is Kamalu’s attitude when dealing with a tough situation; with any negative that happens, he can find at least 100 positives in that same situation. While I’m over here in tears, he’s comforting ME telling ME everything is going to be okay, even though he should be the one getting all the comfort.
What makes it so hard is that Houston was the place Kamalu and I became “full adults” as we’d like to say. Houston is a city of many firsts for us. The Texans were our first team; it’s the first city we’ve lived in on our own (that wasn’t on a campus); it was the place we bought our first car from; it’s a city where we lived in our first real house together; it’s a city where we came to grow, love, and plant our roots in; it’s a city where we celebrated our first real Thanksgiving and Christmas as adults on our own; it’s a city where we went through our first scary natural disaster, Hurricane Harvey, and helped those in need during the aftermath. The city of Houston means so so so much to Kamalu and I because it is a city that helped shaped us into the people we are today.
Kamalu and I are so grateful for not only the city of Houston, but the Houston Texans as well. The Texans is a special organization that has truly given us more than we could ever ask for. From the coaches, to the players, to the Lady Texans, all the way down to concession stand workers at the stadium, the Houston Texans Organization will ALWAYS hold a special place in our hearts. They were the ones who took a chance on an Undrafted Free Agent who started off playing community college ball. They opened the door to Kamalu’s NFL dreams, and for THAT, we are forever grateful. The Texans have turned Kamalu into a whole new player; Kamalu has learned so much from his coaches and veteran teammates and I know he’ll carry on the lessons and work ethic he learned from the Texans to wherever team he may play for next.
I know a lot of ladies and their spouses are currently going through the same thing, and for that, I’ll say this: Never EVER give up. Success isn’t EVERYONE telling you yes, but the right people telling you yes. Also, always remember that in this big vast world out there, it only takes a yes from ONE person, ONE team, to be successful. It isn’t about how you started out, or how many setbacks you’ve acquired during your journey; it’s about how you finish and how you present yourself in the face of adversity.
One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Winston Churchill: “If you’re going through hell, keep going”. This quote has given me the strength to push through the toughest of times. If you’re going through hell, never stop, keep pushing – after all, why on EARTH would you want to stop and give up right in the middle of a hellish situation? Whenever you find yourself in a situation that you find difficult, always remind yourself that you’ve survived 100% of the bad days you’ve had thus far, and this bad day won’t be any different.
Training with Kamalu this offseason has taught me so many things. I think the most important thing it has taught me is just how hard that not only Kamalu works to chase his dreams, but every single guy out there as well. From the undrafted free agents, to the practice squad members, all the way up to the best of the best pro bowlers – each and every one of these guys sacrifice literal blood, sweat, tears, and sanity (at times) just for a CHANCE of achieving their dreams. So even though the results of your work may not be what you want it to be, ALWAYS celebrate a job hard worked.
What’s next for us? I don’t know to be completely honest with you. We’re currently in this awkward in between stage where we’re just waiting to see where all the chips may fall. Until then, it’s time for me to step up and be whatever Kamalu needs me to be. Whether it be a provider, or just a shoulder to lean on, I will ALWAYS have his back just like he’s had my own struggles and setbacks.
Thank you to everyone who has kept up with, and prayed for Kamalu’s NFL journey. The journey is definitely NOT over yet, there is still so much greatness in this wonderful man of mine. I’m also SUPER thankful for all the wonderful women I’ve met in this crazy NFL life – you guys have been such a support system and I am forever grateful.
One last, but oh so important thing to add: NEVER BE ASHAMED OF FAILURE OR A SETBACK. Never. I use to be someone who was so ashamed of failing – and whenever I did fail, I would try to hide it or dismiss it any way I possibly could. That’s no way to live. In an entire lifespan, there will be hundreds, if not thousands of potential failures or setbacks – big or small – and that’s OKAY. Besides, a failure is only a failure if you give up right after, and I know Kamalu and I have enough fight in us to take on whatever potential setbacks may come our way. Today was not a failure, today was just God closing one door to open another – we just have to be patient.
I’ll be keeping you posted on our journey as it is being written by the big man upstairs. This journey is on Gods time, not ours.
Until then, Stay tuned. The greatest thing about a setback is the COMEBACK!
Thanks for reading,